What Idioms Know About Negotiation (That We Often Forget)

How often do we rely on a simple phrase to describe a complex situation?

In everyday conversations, just as much as in business, we instinctively reach for expressions like “we’re pushing it too far,” “you can’t have your cake and eat it too,” or “it’s time to lay the cards on the table.”

In Italian, you would hear stiamo tirando troppo la corda, volere la botte piena e la moglie ubriaca, scoprire le carte.

Different words, same intuition.

These expressions are more than just language habits. They are condensed experience. They exist because certain situations happen over and over again, and at some point someone found a simple way to capture them. That is why idioms resonate so easily across cultures: not because they translate perfectly, but because the dynamics behind them do.

In negotiation, we tend to focus on data, preparation, and structured thinking. All of that is essential. Yet negotiation rarely unfolds in a purely rational environment. It is shaped by expectations, internal pressures, and the constant tension between what is desired and what is actually achievable.

This is where idioms become useful. They do not explain how to negotiate, but they describe what negotiation often feels like in practice. In just a few words, they capture misalignment, trade-offs and unrealistic demands, situations every negotiator has faced.

There are moments when even the best analysis is not enough.
You may have solid data and a clear argument and still sense that something is off. In those cases, a simple phrase often says more than a detailed report, because it reflects how people are interpreting the situation, not just how it looks on paper.

At the same time, idioms come with a risk. They simplify reality, and simplification can mislead. Expressions like “the customer is always right” or “better safe than sorry” may sound convincing but applied blindly they can limit judgment rather than support it. The real skill is not in using these phrases, but in understanding when they truly fit the situation and when they don’t.

Because negotiation does not happen in theory. It happens under pressure, in conversations where expectations are not always aligned with reality, and where objectives are sometimes disconnected from actual constraints. These are everyday scenarios, and they are exactly the ones idioms tend to capture best.

This is the idea behind this series: using common idioms (Italian and English) as a starting point to explore the dynamics of negotiation in a more intuitive way. Behind simple expressions, there are often complex mechanisms at play.

In the next video, from CABL Faculty Giovanni Aquilanti, we will start with a particularly vivid Italian idiom: fare le nozze coi funghi or “to organize a wedding with mushrooms.” An unusual phrase that points to a very familiar situation in business, and raises a simple but critical question: what happens when expectations are not aligned with reality?